Juneteenth

 

    The people of Texas are informed that, in accordance with a proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of personal rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired labor. The freedmen are advised to remain quietly at their present homes and work for wages. They are informed that they will not be allowed to collect at military posts and that they will not be supported in idleness either there or elsewhere.    -Major General Gordon Granger

    Probably like most schoolchildren, I assumed that the First Civil War (some scholars claim it was the second since the American Revolution could be considered a sort of civil war) and slavery in the United States ended with General Robert E. Lee’s surrender to General Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House, Virginia on April 9, 1865. 

    Well, true, for all intents and purposes, the war was over.  However, there were still plenty of enslaved people in the South, even after Abraham Lincoln was assassinated less than a week later. 

    In fact, the Western Confederate Army didn’t surrender until June 2 and the last of the slaves in the South weren’t freed until Major General Granger arrived in Galveston on June 19^th and issued the above proclamation.

"Do kids learn about me in school?   Nooooooo."

    Thus is the genesis of Juneteenth.

    But, before we go much further, a little history:

    In January, 1865, Congress proposed the 13^th Amendment to the US Constitution, which would abolish slavery in the United States (mind you, this was before the war was over).

 

SPOILER:  It did.

    By June, most of the enslaved population in the South had been freed, with the notable exception of Texas. 

    Notice I wrote “South.”  Wouldn’t you know it, Delaware and Kentucky, two of the border states, wouldn’t abolish slavery until the amendment was ratified in December. 

    Yeah. 

    NOTE:  Another misconception of my early childhood was that Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation, issued on January 1^st, 1863, freed all of the slaves.  Oh, no.  The gist of the proclamation announced “that all persons held as slaves” within the rebellious areas “are, and henceforward shall be free.”  Sounds good, but how was Lincoln going to enforce it in Dixie?  Plus, slaves held in the Border States (Maryland, Kentucky, Delaware, and Missouri) were not free.  Why, you may ask?  Simple.  Lincoln needed them.  Cynical politics, to be sure, but those are the facts. 

    And now?  My opinion.  This may surprise some people, but I wholeheartedly support the establishment of Juneteenth as the newest federal holiday in 2021.

Signed by the Panderer-in-Chief, Joe Biden.
The same Joe Biden who decried public schools as "racial jungles." 
No matter, though.  It was the right thing to do. 

     In fact, I wonder, what took so long? 

    I believe that it should be a joyous event for all Americans, not just black Americans.  Take a day off, hold celebratory events (which don’t include setting school buses on fire), feast like your life depended on it, and express joy that one of the evils of this nation’s founding was eradicated.

    Just don't expect any mail. 

    In any event, I believe this is an overall good for the country. 

    It’s a day of pride for our brothers and sisters.  No amount of carping about it should diminish the day. 

    After all, it certainly isn’t the silly bit of business that Kwanzaa is.

A made-up, bogus holiday. 
Like Valentines.

      

History Repeats?

 

"Looks like a lot of tanks."
"PFFFT!  This will take care of them."

    On June 22, 1941, Nazi Germany invaded the Soviet Union.  Codenamed “Operation Barbarossa,” this military misadventure resulted in disaster for the Germans when it finally concluded, with 8 million casualties, on December 5, 1941.

    Fun Fact:  “Barbarossa,” meaning “Red Beard,” took its name after the Holy Roman Emperor, Frederick Barbarossa, leader of the Third Crusade.  Unfortunately, for him, he drowned in Asia Minor and the Third Crusade was pretty much a bust.  Frankly, you’d think Hitler would’ve caught a clue.  Anyway, legend had it that Barbarossa was merely asleep and, like King Arthur of England, would come to the aid of his country at a time of need.

Wrong King Arthur

    The invasion of the USSR may have come as kind of a surprise to Josef Stalin, especially since his nation and the Nazis signed the Molotov-Ribbentrop, or non-aggression, Pact in 1939.

    Mind you, Stalin was no choir boy himself.  Even though he had suspicions, he didn’t mobilize his forces lest he antagonize the Germans.

    He also probably figured Adolph wouldn’t be stupid enough to spark a two-front war.

"You know England's not defeated, ja?"
"PFFFT!  What's the worst that could happen?"

    Well, the Arrogant Head Cheerleader for the Master Race invaded anyway and, like Napoleon, promptly got his ass kicked by Mother Russia.  

"Whew!  I did not see that coming!"

    Further, in classic “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” fashion, the Allies could now include the Soviet Union.

And we all know how that turned out.

    With this in mind, I have my worries about the bombast concerning Communist Cuba. 

"Mr. President, about Cuba...  Aren't you concerned that Iran's not defeated?" 
"PFFFT!  What's the worst that could happen?"

    To be sure, I don’t think Donald Trump is the second coming of Adolph Hitler.  Those who think so are idiots.

    However, the action in Iran is not over.  Do we really want another military operation in the Caribbean?  To be sure, the weather is much nicer and American supply lines are much, much shorter.  But.........

    History doesn’t repeat itself, but it sure can rhyme sometime.

    I hope I’m wrong.   

Happy Memorial Day?

Happy Memorial Day! 

    The following is a serious telling of the origins of Memorial Day, which is anything but happy.  It's a repost from Penwasser Place, but I thought it would be better here.  I promise there will be no political tomfoolery.

"Therefore, I've introduced a bill in Congress which would eliminate the Electoral College.  Higher education will no longer be the sole purview of the wealthy.  Part of my bill will be the establishment of the Electoral Community College, where every American, and those who snuck in, will be given a free education.  And gender reassignment."

    Okay, maybe a little tomfoolery.

********

Nothing happy about this

    I wonder how many of us say that without realizing the last Monday in May is really not about the unofficial start of summer?  

     Lost among backyard barbecues, fireworks (for those looking to get a jump on Independence Day...and bug the shit out of their neighbors), trips to Jersey beaches (to watch the annual washing ashore of mob hits), Florida tropical storms, and California wildfires is the true purpose behind Memorial Day.

    Originally called Decoration Day, recognition of those who gave their lives in the recent Civil War, was officially proclaimed on May 5th, 1868, by General John Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic (weren’t they all full of themselves?).  Planned for May 30th, it drew former foes together to plant flowers and otherwise spruce up graves of war dead from North and South alike at Arlington National Cemetery.

    Fun Fact:  Arlington Cemetery was built on the grounds of the Robert E. Lee estate.  Kind of an FU, wouldn't you say?

NOTE:  For my non-American friends (and products of a Learing Center), the American Civil War (or “War of Northern Aggression”-sheesh, those people can really hold a grudge) took place between 1861 and 1865 between the “North” and the “South.”  I could bore you with the whys, whens, and whats about one of my country’s most horrific conflicts, but I won’t (no sense cracking a book, yo).  Let’s just put it this way:  a lot of people died and the blue team won.  Oh, and it wasn’t technically a “civil” war.  Because, let’s face it, there’s nothing civil about getting your head blown off by a cannon ball.  Incidentally, if we have another one, it will be an actual civil war, though.  So we have that going for us.

"Which is nice."

    Decoration Day remained an observance of Civil War dead until after the First World War.  Following history’s most idiotic conflict (which didn’t end up being the “war to end all wars,” after all), 

"Eff."

it was decided that May 30th would be set aside to honor all American war dead.

    The name, however, stuck until it officially changed to Memorial Day in 1967.  No matter what it was called, though, Americans throughout the nation took time out to honor those who had fallen.

    What seemed to many to be a civic duty began to fade after Congress passed the Holiday Act of 1971.  An effort to consolidate some federal holidays into three-day weekends, it shifted Memorial Day to the last Monday in May.  The inexorable transformation from solemn tribute to summertime bacchanal had begun.

    I try my best not to be a crank about the avalanche of car commercials, barbecue tips shows, or “ABBA to ZZ Top-The Memorial Countdown of the 500 Most Popular Hits of the 70s, 80s, 90s, and Whatever the Frik We Call the 21st Century!”  It’s hard not to get caught up in the hoopla of a country poised at the brink of gloriously warm weather (sorry, Aussies) and summer reruns.  Hey, I like to walk around with my shirt off and scare wildlife like any other middle-aged guy.

"Middle-aged?  Planning on living to 136, are ya?"

    Still, I remember when Memorial Day used to be about the Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine, Coast Guardsman, and whatever the frik the Space Force calls themselves. 

"Fabulous.  We call ourselves fabulous."

Parades, wreath-layings, air shows, flag-raisings:  those were what I remember.

    But, if I think back really hard, 

I also remember my father incinerating hot dogs on the grill while listening to Best of the Ventures on his 8-Track player.  All while we played fetch with our dog-using my little brother’s bathing suit.  

Or playing catch with the lawn darts Uncle Chris brought.

    Those are all happy memories.  Except for Uncle Chris, probably.

    So, when I get up Monday morning, I’m going to proudly fly my flag.

    It is then when I’ll remember.

    Hopefully, I’ll be able to cook a hot dog better than my dad.

    Now that I think of it, I guess the saying fits:

    Happy Memorial Day!       

Same As It Ever Was

 

  For those who may be dismayed over the crapfest known as American politics, be of relative good cheer.

  This kind of venom has always been with us.  It's just that the existence of television and the pervasive influence of the cesspool of hatred and despair (i.e., social media) make it seem like we're experiencing something new.

  In fact, one doesn't have to do a lot of digging to find similar examples.  The rise of partisan vitriol has been a part of politics since nearly the beginning of our nation.  Even though George Washington warned against the corrosive nature of parties,

And foreign entanglements. 
That also didn't turn out too well.

the rise of the Federalists and Republicans (different kind of Republicans) kicked off an animosity which continues nearly unabated to this day.

  The leader of the Federalists, Alexander Hamilton, butted heads quite frequently with the leader of the Republicans, Thomas Jefferson.  In fact, they may have hated each other. Violence, including riots, broke out quite often between their parties.

That said, at least Jefferson didn't plug him.

  John Adams, a noted curmudgeon ridiculed as "His Rotundity," was so butthurt over being replaced by Jefferson that he refused to attend his successor's inauguration.

"More than a little hurtful, to be honest."

  Friends during the Revolution, Adams and Jefferson became bitter opponents. In later life, they pretty much reconciled and became geriatric pen pals.

"I, too, hate it when Whigs get on my lawn."

  The angst didn't stop there...John Quincy Adams, Henry Clay, Andrew Jackson, Andrew Johnson, Rutherford B. Hayes, Warren Harding, FDR, Bill Clinton, and so on.

  And, obviously, Abraham Lincoln. The schism created by his presidency resulted in hundreds of thousands killed.

  By the way, if anyone thinks Donald Trump was the first president to win the electoral college and lose the popular vote, you may want to pick up a history book.  Happened more than you think.

  Of course, in 2024, he won both.  Didn’t stop the hate, though.

  Don't get me wrong. None of what is going on in today's society is good.  Personally, I've been sick about it for years.  And I'm quite sure it will go on.

More than likely, in fact.

    My point is, it's not unprecedented. Maybe there is some comfort there. Perhaps not.

  Just imagine, though, if Richard Nixon had an X account.

"If I did, I would so dish on you pinkos."

Speak Softly

 And carry a big stick

I don't know, but I don't think Theodore Roosevelt meant it in quite this way

Biden Strikes Again

    You may have noticed (the two of you), that I haven't posted on this site for a few weeks.  That's because I have been working feverishly on the 2026 A-Z Challenge over at Penwasser Place.  Frankly, I've enjoyed it, even though it's quite tiring.  Being a goofy purveyor of goofiness is much better than dwelling on the serious.  Which there is obviously much of.  But, since I'm well over halfway complete with the challenge (and May looms), I thought I'd jump back over here real quick for a bit of somber.

NOTE:  How utterly narcissistic of me to post a link to my other blog.  It's almost...Trump-like.     

********

Full Disclosure:  The following is not meant to ridicule Joe Biden.  Much.

    Former president Joe Biden was recently honored by Syracuse University.  The Orange presented him with, I must admit, an impressive portrait.

MUCH better than this childish nonsense

    However, during his acceptance speech

"Dear Lord, they're going to let him talk."

he called a gentleman up to the podium who he called "Barack."

"He looks like him, right?"

    Probably predictably, a lot of people are poking fun at Biden (it really is easy) for being so addled that he actually thought the man was his former boss.  Even my wife said, "Oh, my God, what's wrong with him?"

    I was able to convince her that Biden was just joking.  Even though there are many instances of dementia-riddled "brain" farts,

 

"If you're not for me, well, then, you ain't black!"

this wasn't one of them.

    HOWEVER, how frikkin' clueless do you have to be that you even make a joke like that in the first place?  At best, it's braindead.  At worst, it boosts your reputation as a doofus prone to gaffes.

"No.  Look.  I'm serious.  They all look alike."

      On the other hand....

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

     Okay, back to the A-Z Challenge.  See you next month.

Sound Familiar?

     Even though I'm smack dab in the middle of preparing for the A-Z Challenge, I thought I'd take a break and mosey on over here to vent.

    NO WAY am I going to use this blog for the A-Z Challenge.  Good grief, I'd lose my mind if I had to write thirty [mostly] serious posts.  As Bill Clinton would say, "Screw that."

    But, an occasional foray into the sober would be all right.

    Imagine, when growing up, you befriended one of the kids in the neighborhood.  He had a lot of cool toys and always seemed to have money for the candy store.  What's more, he protected you from other neighborhood kids who, to you at least, were the worst of bullies.

    NOTE;  Maybe they were or maybe they weren't bullies.  They just had a hard-on for you.  Or were told they did by your friend.

    Even though he dressed kind of funny and was from a rich family (they owned two cars, his mother didn't work, had cable TV, and he went to a private school), he was still your friend.  You did a lot of good things together as you made your neighborhood great again.

    It was a wonderful relationship, full of wonderful things.

    Well, eventually, he then started talking crazy.  He began to deride others with whom he disagreed.  And, even though you didn't know them, he expected you to consider them your enemies, as well.

    If you didn't, well...you could forget about those trips to the candy store.  After all, you shouldn't expect him to fit the bill all by himself, should you?  And protection from those public school kids?  You can forget about that, too. 

Let them hang you from a stop sign by your underwear.
  Loser.

    Once he didn't receive unquestioned loyalty (and, yes, worship as your "favorite friend") from you, well, you're no better than the scum of the Earth.  You're on your own.  And, if he still wanted to play in your backyard, well, it's too bad if you objected.

    This sounds familiar, although I can't quite put my finger on it.

Oh, sure I can. 
I wrote this thing, you know.