Speak Softly

 And carry a big stick

I don't know, but I don't think Theodore Roosevelt meant it in quite this way

Biden Strikes Again

    You may have noticed (the two of you), that I haven't posted on this site for a few weeks.  That's because I have been working feverishly on the 2026 A-Z Challenge over at Penwasser Place.  Frankly, I've enjoyed it, even though it's quite tiring.  Being a goofy purveyor of goofiness is much better than dwelling on the serious.  Which there is obviously much of.  But, since I'm well over halfway complete with the challenge (and May looms), I thought I'd jump back over here real quick for a bit of somber.

NOTE:  How utterly narcissistic of me to post a link to my other blog.  It's almost...Trump-like.     

********

Full Disclosure:  The following is not meant to ridicule Joe Biden.  Much.

    Former president Joe Biden was recently honored by Syracuse University.  The Orange presented him with, I must admit, an impressive portrait.

MUCH better than this childish nonsense

    However, during his acceptance speech

"Dear Lord, they're going to let him talk."

he called a gentleman up to the podium who he called "Barack."

"He looks like him, right?"

    Probably predictably, a lot of people are poking fun at Biden (it really is easy) for being so addled that he actually thought the man was his former boss.  Even my wife said, "Oh, my God, what's wrong with him?"

    I was able to convince her that Biden was just joking.  Even though there are many instances of dementia-riddled "brain" farts,

 

"If you're not for me, well, then, you ain't black!"

this wasn't one of them.

    HOWEVER, how frikkin' clueless do you have to be that you even make a joke like that in the first place?  At best, it's braindead.  At worst, it boosts your reputation as a doofus prone to gaffes.

"No.  Look.  I'm serious.  They all look alike."

      On the other hand....

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

     Okay, back to the A-Z Challenge.  See you next month.

Sound Familiar?

     Even though I'm smack dab in the middle of preparing for the A-Z Challenge, I thought I'd take a break and mosey on over here to vent.

    NO WAY am I going to use this blog for the A-Z Challenge.  Good grief, I'd lose my mind if I had to write thirty [mostly] serious posts.  As Bill Clinton would say, "Screw that."

    But, an occasional foray into the sober would be all right.

    Imagine, when growing up, you befriended one of the kids in the neighborhood.  He had a lot of cool toys and always seemed to have money for the candy store.  What's more, he protected you from other neighborhood kids who, to you at least, were the worst of bullies.

    NOTE;  Maybe they were or maybe they weren't bullies.  They just had a hard-on for you.  Or were told they did by your friend.

    Even though he dressed kind of funny and was from a rich family (they owned two cars, his mother didn't work, had cable TV, and he went to a private school), he was still your friend.  You did a lot of good things together as you made your neighborhood great again.

    It was a wonderful relationship, full of wonderful things.

    Well, eventually, he then started talking crazy.  He began to deride others with whom he disagreed.  And, even though you didn't know them, he expected you to consider them your enemies, as well.

    If you didn't, well...you could forget about those trips to the candy store.  After all, you shouldn't expect him to fit the bill all by himself, should you?  And protection from those public school kids?  You can forget about that, too. 

Let them hang you from a stop sign by your underwear.
  Loser.

    Once he didn't receive unquestioned loyalty (and, yes, worship as your "favorite friend") from you, well, you're no better than the scum of the Earth.  You're on your own.  And, if he still wanted to play in your backyard, well, it's too bad if you objected.

    This sounds familiar, although I can't quite put my finger on it.

Oh, sure I can. 
I wrote this thing, you know.

    

Of Steak and Lobsters

     The news cycle is dizzying.  There are so many topics on which to opine that it can be difficult choosing which one.  Most of my opinions can be refuted by others who, while wrong, at least demonstrate they possess some cognitive awareness.

"I don't recall that ever happening."

    Some viewpoints are so absurd, though, that they defy all logic.  To the point where I can't believe sentient humans hold them. 

For instance, some people actually
believe this belongs in women's locker rooms.

    However, I maintain that there are many sides to this question or that.  And I enjoy respectful debate.

Or otherwise.

    Then, there's the latest outrage.  Paul Begala, former advisor to Bill Clinton and traffic cone on CNN is, sadly, not alone in thinking  taxpayers' money is being wasted on frivolous luxuries. 

"That's my job!"

Paul Begala is weapons grade stupid.

     Too many people share this muppet's opinion.

    If you've never been in the military, you may think that the Secretary of War, Defense, Whatever, Pete Hegseth just decided to spend millions of dollars on things such as lobster tails and steak.  

    While I sincerely hope your delusion doesn't lead you to the conclusion that Hegseth is wolfing down on these luxury items himself, 

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

the brain dead among you would think this is a lavish, new way to bribe troops.

     For the ignorant (NOT NECESSARILY stupid) out there:

    In May, 1977, I was a crewmember aboard USS America (some of you may know this if not both of you).  During that time, it was not uncommon for the mess decks to offer lobster tails and/or steak on special occasions.  Some of these "special occasions" included announcements from the Captain that our time at sea would be extended.

Not saying the food was bad, but I got food poisoning
when we were overseas during Christmas, 1977. 
Where I was left horribly disfigured. 
Okay, that part's not true.

    My point is that appearance of these delicacies (which were sometimes, frankly, horrendous) quickly became a joke among the crew.

If you think this is luxurious, let me show you a submarine.

    "Hey, we'll be back in Norfolk in only a week!  Isn't that great?  I can't wait to see my wife and kids after nine months at sea."

    "Uh, didn't you hear?"

    "Hear what?"

    "They're serving lobster and steak on the mess decks."  

    In the twenty-seven years that I served, this was common practice.  From what I understand, food such as this was given to troops just before they went into combat (so, you could say, with some validity, that crews on aircraft carriers were living large).  At no time did it completely erase the suck, but it did boost morale somewhat.

    I've got more news for the anti-Trump crowd.  On Christmas Day, 1997, I was underway on USS George Washington in the Persian Gulf.

As opposed to the New Rochelle Gulf

    A holiday feast was served on the mess decks in a vain effort to distract us from the fact WE WERE IN THE PERSIAN GULF AT CHRISTMAS.

    You know what we had?  Prime rib.  And lobster tails and steak.

    I get that you hate Trump and Hegseth*, but, seriously?  Shut up. 

Epilogue:  Bonehead Begala also took issue with 225 million being spent on furniture.  While I could understand his problem with this (if he was equally vexed by millions spent on illegal aliens), there is an explanation.  The fiscal year ends on September 30th.  If any money is left in a command's budget, they are told to spend it by then.  If it is not spent, they will lose that money for the following year.  I have no doubt that was the case here.  Not saying it's good or something I agree with, but it's true.

*Despite being accused of being a "Trumplidite" (I kind of like that term), in no way am I pro-Trump.  However, I am a thinker.  Who has walked the walk.

I Don't Like War

     But, sometimes you have to fight one.  And I hate that the United States has to fight this one.  However, by not taking this on now, things could be much worse in the future.

    NOTE:  In the previous paragraph, I started each sentence with “But,” “And,” and “However.”  Sloppy, sloppy writing.  I would be embarrassed if more than a couple people were to read this.  Or I was getting paid.  Anyway...

    In 1979, I was a 21 year-old serving aboard the aircraft carrier, USS America. 

Not a good look, I admit

    On November 4^th of that year, 66 Americans were taken hostage by batshit crazy Islamic fundamentalists in Tehran.  I thought for sure there would be a robust American response, even though we had a worthless peanut farmer for president.

    Sadly, I realized that my ship would more than likely not be a part of it since it was sitting without screws (i.e., propellers) in a drydock at the Norfolk Naval Shipyard in Portsmouth, Virginia.

Nope.  We weren't going anywhere.

    Fun Fact:  The Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, instead of being in New Hampshire, is in Kittery, Maine.  Keep ‘em guessing (and confused), I guess.

    Nothing happened, except for stern words, protests, 

and Ted Koppel nailing a great gig.

Nope, the Ayatollah Khomeini and his minions

Wrong minions

 thumbed their nose at the “Great Satan.”

Fun Fact #2:  The Iranians originally wanted to go with "Yankees Suck!"  but the Red Sox owned the copyright.

    In fact, they probably laughed their turbans off following the disastrous rescue attempt in April 1980.

    The hostages were released after the inauguration of Ronald Reagan.  Guess they figured he’d be worse than the boob from Plains, Georgia.

    However, that didn’t stop the Iranians from being deadly pains in the ass in the region and throughout the world.  Whether directly by them, or by their proxies (e.g., Hamas), thousands of people have been murdered for forty-seven years.

    And, in all that time, they chanted “Death To America!”

    Now (although not actually now; it’s been going on for quite some time), they threaten to develop a nuclear weapon.  Does anyone with a functioning brain cell think they won’t use it, once they get one?

    As despotic and murderous as the regimes in Russia and China are, they are not crazy.  I firmly believe they wouldn’t use their nukes unless they were pushed to the brink.

    Iran, on the other hand, could very well use one to hasten their version of the end times by taking us with them.

    When someone has been wishing you death for almost fifty years, you may want to call their bluff.

    Therefore, to prevent them from developing the military infrastructure to ward off any attempt to thwart their nuclear weapons program, President Trump, in conjunction with Israel, ordered that every bit of their military be rendered kaput.

    Case in point:  North Korea.  That country was allowed to shield itself to the point that taking out its nuclear program was a non-starter.  Even though they’re lead by a pudgy little bastard with a bad haircut, they would be nuts enough to use them unless they were at death’s door.

"Tell him I'm on Ozempic."

    So, I reluctantly support the military strikes in Iran.  I reserve the right to change my mind in the future, of course (incidentally, I initially supported the Iraq War.  Until I didn’t).

    My caveat is that my support will completely evaporate if American ground troops are brought into this thing.

    I pray they are not.

    God bless the United States military.  

By the way:  All the Democrats castigating Trump for waging an illegal war, where were they during Obama's misadventures in Libya?  Thaaaaatttttt's right.  Fucking hypocrites. 

      

That's All, Folks

 

Don't think the pig is halal

"DEATH TO AMERICA!"
"Well, that didn't go as planned, did it?"
"I don't wanna go.  It's even hotter there than here.  And the 72 virgins are transgenders."
"Sorry, but you'd best be steppin'. Hey, give my regards to Saddam when you see him." 

NOTE:  As I indicated in a post a couple weeks ago, I was against any strike on those crazy bastards.  But....I certainly understand those who were for it.  In similar fashion, I would have been an isolationist up until December 7, 1941.  That said, now that it's underway, go-time.

State of the Union

    For those of you who know me, you know I am not a Liberal.  Even though I did not vote for Trump, I didn't vote for Cackle Britches, either.  I was glad she went down in defeat.  

"That's fine.  I'm used to going down."

    That said, I'm not a big fan of everything that Orange Jesus has done.  Mind you, I approve of most of his policies, though.

    The following was not written by me, but it's full of the "smartassery" for which I'm known (mostly over at Penwasser Place).  I certainly don't agree with all of the below.  But, I find ALL OF IT quite funny.  By and large, this nails the man's character.

    So, sit back and enjoy.  I just hope that you don't think he's a better writer than I.       

"Can I help you?  Losers."

Trump’s State of the Union Speech has been leaked!

My fellow Americans… wow. What a crowd. Incredible crowd. Some people are saying it’s the biggest State of the Union audience ever. Bigger than Abraham Lincoln, bigger than anybody. Twice the size of Obama’s. The ratings? Through the roof. They said it couldn’t be done, we did it anyway. We always do.

America is doing tremendously. The economy? Perfect. Absolutely perfect. So perfect economists are calling me, grown men, strong men, crying, saying, “Sir, please slow down the winning.” I said, “I can’t. The people need it.”

Gas prices? Basically free. Eggs? Beautiful eggs. Chickens have never been happier. Egg prices have dropped 500%, in some cases as much as 1,000%.

I alone solved inflation completely. Prices are so low people are being handed money at grocery stores. Cashiers saying please take it, sir, we have too much prosperity.

I’ve created 397 million jobs, maybe more. Nobody really knows because the numbers are too good.

Unemployment is now zero. Actually less than zero. Every job has been filled and some jobs have been filled two, five, ten times even. CEO’s are calling me telling me there’s nobody left to hire. We need the women to have more babies, beautiful Trump babies, for our future.

The stock market hit an all time high this morning, paused to salute me, and then went higher out of respect.

The border is so secure, migrants are even stopping to guard it themselves. They love America, and know that their kind just doesn’t belong in such a prosperous country, but they protect it because they love me. Everyone loves America again. Even countries that do not exist yet are calling to congratulate us.

World leaders call me nonstop. Yesterday a leader said “Sir, you have achieved peace everywhere.” I said I know. Even my enemies totally agree with me on everything now. Total unity. Nobody has ever united people like this. I’ve stopped a dozen wars, many say it may even be as high as 20 or 30.

Our proud boys in ICE are bringing peace and calmness to our cities like never before seen. Uniting our people and drawing crowds of, in some cases tens of thousands of supporters, cheering them on, paying tribute with signs, as they remove the criminals, thugs, rapists and drug dealers from our streets.

People come up to me and say, “Sir, how did you do it?” Very simple. Common sense. A lot of people don’t have it. Sad. But only I, alone, your favorite President could accomplish all of this.

And frankly, the fake news, terrible, vicious and nasty people, they won’t tell you this. They’re jealous. Total disaster over there. It’s a constant attack on me, your beloved President. I watched CNN last night, low ratings, very low energy. I almost felt bad. Almost.

I rebuilt the military, saved the suburbs, I also cured traffic. Nobody talks about it. Highways empty. Beautiful driving. Perfect parking everywhere. Parallel parking solved..

And next year? Even greater. I’m going to make America richer, stronger, healthier, thinner, taller, and possibly younger. Scientists are working on it. Tremendous scientists. I have the best scientists.

Thank you. God bless me and the United States of America, which, by the way, has never been better. Ever. And you owe it all to your favorite President, the greatest President in the history of our country, better than Washington and Lincoln combined, Donald J. Trump.

Sorry, not sorry. I don't care who you are, this is funny.

"GET HIM OUTTA HERE!"